Anti-abortion and the sexual hypocrisy of Nigerian music on pregnancy
The discussion must be had on anti-abortion Laws and patriarchy in Nigerian music.
In 2018, the sour pot of anti-abortion Laws was again stirred by the long spoon of conservatism. The female Governor of the Southern state of Georgia, US signed a Law that prohibited abortion in the state with some damning consequences.
This led feminists and civil rights activist to turn the heat on the Nigerian government and legislature to revisit the problematic anti-abortion Laws in Nigeria.
Just as American streets became habitats to protests and placards from women who felt the Law a blatant infringement on freewill, Nigerian women took to social media to voice their unfiltered opinions.
Abortion has long been a sticky point in Nigeria with reservations rooted in conservatism, a god complex, morality and the use of anti-abortion Laws as a ‘scare-tactic.’ It is a problem that requires understanding…
The problem
In Nigeria, a premium is placed on marriage and everything that comes with it. The married revel in the wedding itself, oblivious to the work that is a marriage, responsibilities that come with it. It’s all about the party and satisfying vain baby boomer-parents by granting them another avenue, asides your education to brag aboutto their friends.
The idea of marriage also houses the only approval that pregnancy could only ever socially garner — you get pregnant within the confines of marriage, it’s celebration because if you don’t get pregnant, the wife gets called derogatory name, but if you get pregnant outside the ‘sanctity’ of marriage, it’s all doom and gloom.
In fact, your life has ended and you will never amount to anything.
The Nigerian premium on sex for women
While in part, one understands the perspective of worry in this conversation as it relates to the challenges and requirements of dedication that child-rearing requires, there should never be a totality of damning judgement for unmarried women who get pregnant. This issue is also a systemic one with roots firmly entrenched in history.
In those days, a woman had to marry a virgin. Anything short of that is deemed a disgrace on her family — imagine placing the image of a family on the shoulders of a young woman. Any girl met with her hymen torn is deemed ‘damaged goods’ and the husband’s family can demand the dowry paid or even walk out of the marriage completely. Now that’s just virginity, imagine a young, unmarried woman getting pregnant in those days…
Abortion in Nigeria
While this stigma that comes from the premium placed on sex and premarital pregnancy makes women seek abortion, it is also the indirect reason why abortion is still illegal in Nigeria.
The cumulative effect of these factors makes the reason for that infamous legal prohibition of abortion clear for what it is; a ‘scare tactic,’ birthed by the systemic moral standards society holds women to.
The idea behind this prohibition is simple, since most of the custodians of Nigeria’s legislature are still conservative Generation Xers, they feel the legalization of abortion equals giving women license for promiscuity and inclination to premarital pregnancy which shames the family. They then pretentiously backing it up with the supposed risks of abortion — it’s hilarious, actually.
The idea then becomes, ‘If we don’t legalize abortion, they will still understand that they cannot get pregnant and shame us — their parents — because they also fear the horror stories they have heard about abortion by quacks.’
This subconscious tactic comes after Generation Xers reluctantly and begrudgingly accepted that kids will have pre-marital sex, I mean they did and some of them still have extra-marital sex with unmarried girls.
Shaming of premarital pregnancy in Nigerian music
The pregnant unmarried girl in Nigeria is shamed and that shaming finds its way into the mainstream and pop culture. As a result, these conservative standards then get spread from generation to generation. Music continues the cycle and indirectly provides subconscious support for Nigeria’s anti-abortion laws.
The reason is simply, it also places a premium on pre-marital pregnancy and fosters the stigma around it. For this reason, the subconscious use of anti-abortion Laws as a ‘scare tactic’ gets propagated.
‘Carry belle’ is the supreme hallmark of derogation in Nigerian music. The trend can be traced from Kimi Ranking’s ‘Shakara Don End’ to ‘Ekaette’ by Maye Hunta, ‘Who I Go Ask’ by Omawumi the problem is propagated.
While the issue is not entirely the fault of artists who are only creating according to the standards that birthed and nurtured them, it must be noted that they foster the problematic anti-abortion Laws. When their works get consumed, they resonate with already ingested anti-pregnancy standards in society and problematic views get hardened and harder to shed.
The hypocrisy in this shaming
Alongside the promotion of non-existent opulence, alcohol consumption and nightlife, sex is one of the pillars of commercial and radio-worthy dance music in Nigeria. Lewd lines are spewed by Nigerian singers of their disturbing desire to bed women and the gory details of how they aim to bed these women.
While for other singers, the double standard is not as obvious on the one song, they still promote sex before saying the supreme words of derogation, ‘carry belle’ with a judgmental tone.
Double Standard I: How can you get pregnant without having sex?
In this same Nigerian society, married women are elevated to a pedestal of respect that men understand certain lines cannot be crossed. While ‘sugar boys’ tend to cross these lines on occasion, the standard is pretty much set in stone.
It then becomes arguable that most of the women these singers and rappers proclaim their vivacious sexual desires for are unmarried. So, since men like these singers are impregnating these girls as an incidence of sex, why then do artists shame pregnant women with ‘carry belle’?
The incidence of pregnancy is the result of thoughtless heated passion or sexual irresponsibility in which both consenting — save for rape — parties. Even if the pregnancy came as a result of rape, why should ‘carry belle’ a woman who didn’t get pregnant intentionally?
Double Standard II: Single boys will most likely have sex with single girls
One always questions how boys get hailed for having sex and are even shamed for not having sex by the age of 15–16 while girls are shamed for having sex. Since boys are banished by the ‘unwritten societal constitution’ from having sex with married women, who are they expected to have sex with? Oh, I got it, their beds.
There is an imbalance of sound judgment in these situations that even women now bow to. That’s why Omawumi sang that, “E be like say, e be like say she get belle…” on ‘If You Ask Me,’ unknowingly shaming a young girl for getting pregnant. The problem is a nuclear cataclysm that has disintegrated.
These conservative standards need to be taken out to the trash in Nigerian music. The system creates people, but people must understand the implication of their actions — in this case, artists, as a consequence of the ongoing argument. The double standard on sex-pregnancy must stop.
That’s not to say that single boys too must be shamed, it just means…
…First, the moral premium on sex must be cut
For this to work, and for women to stop being placed in an impossible sexual pedestal, we must stop seeing sex an incidence of morality, only permissible within the confines of marriage, but as a simple physical act upon an hormone-inspired urge with the needed ingredient of consent.
That’s the simple thing that sex is. When that happens, pre-marital pregnancy will stop being seen as a hallmark of moral disgrace with the ‘carry belle’ tags in music, but sexual irresponsibility from two people who got lost in the moment, and didn’t consider if they wanted children — that’s if they truly don’t want children.
Then, abortion will in turn be seen as a needed option for conflicted adults, and not as a sub-human vigilante with an aim to scare people of pre-marital pregnancy. Even if abortion was legal, people who will have sex responsibly will still have sex responsibly. The fear of STDs is greater than that of pregnancy, anyways.
Now, in a more temporal manner, while I do admit that some of these conservative Generation X legislators feel like they need to force people to be responsible and not have the course of their they lives shaken by unplanned pregnancy, which then leads them to reiterate anti-abortion laws, you can’t have a god complex and be responsible for everybody. Equally…
… Free yourself, you can’t protect everybody, let people choose how they want to live
People must feel responsible for themselves and feel like they take every decision as themselves. Abortion should be a choice for people who should be able to decide whether or not they want to have kids.
Currently, the only people who are legally allowed to have an abortion are pregnant women whose lives are threatened by such pregnancy. How about married women who feel they don’t need/want or can’t afford another child? How about single people who feel the same?
In Nigeria, projections are that we will hit a population of 400 million by 2040. People should not be forced to have children and abortion can be a way to shelve that if people knew they could get optimum medical care.
Even though legalizing abortion can lead to an upward spike in conception rate, people will know that there are risks associated with excessive abortions. If they can’t care for themselves after that, then it’s up to them.
Abortion should be legal and ‘carry belle’ should stop being used in music. Pregnancy is a natural incidence of sex.
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